He's just a friend...

I'm fighting my buzz right now so bear with me. I hung out with my a long time homeboy today (my mom's best friend's son) and his girl today. He and I go way back. And of course we grew up together and he taught me a thing or two hint(not that. keep your mind out the gutter).

When he was like 10 his fam moved... we'll say out west. they would come and visit two maybe three times a year and we would kick it. We had feelings but he was there I was here nothing could be done except phone calls, letters, and send each other gifts. Dam seems like only yesterday I would use part of my allowance to buy calling cards and stamps LMAO!! He graduated high school n not long after got with a blanquita. Nothing against them but, that was a slap in the face. N she's not a Pam Anderson Angelina Jolie Jennifer Aniston type either. *Having a moment*

*moment over* We talk weekly. It's clear that there is chemistry n something there but he's with her and I'm usually dealing with someone or want to be single. Any who, tonight the 3 of us are out drinking chilling having a good time. By the time he has 3 beers he's getting touchy feely. I let it slide w\e he's my home boy from way back. His girl goes to the bathroom (she usually never leaves us alone. she'll go to the bathroom when I go or she won't go lol) and starts reminding me of things from the past and turns up the play hitting. We head to the next establishment and while looking for seats in the bar he grabs my ass while blanquita is on about 8 feet ahead.

Although my homeboy is all kinds of delicious I'm faced with a moral dilemma. First he belongs to the blanquita now. I'm not into messing with other people's property. It goes against my moral fiber. I think if more women weren't willing to mess with men they knew were someone else, less men would cheat. Second, I kinda feel like he was mine first and I should reclaim what's mine. Third, I'm unnerved by his behavior. What does it say about him if he's willing to behave this way with his girlfriend around? I know he's a good guy and he hasn't cheated on her but still. I wouldn't be thrilled if my bf was flirting and groping a good friend he grew up with.

So this is me buzzed and rambling. Do you have any friends of the opposite sex from way back when? How do things work when you're in a relationship?

"On these melodic lines I sniff"

Lately i've been updating my iPod on the regular with new tunes. More than I ever have. There's something about music. She has the ability to change your mood and enhance your life She appeals to me in a way the other arts just can't She understands me like no other I've devoted countless hours pursuing her via concerts downloading and hours in record stores. She truly is my mistress...

I went to see Cadillac records today and it reminded me how much I love and appreciate music. It also reminded me of how much I miss playing music. I've thought about returning to the piano for the past few years but, I can't find a way to fit it in my schedule. I don't think people realize how much work musicians put into their craft. I started piano lessons when I was 5 and had to practice an hour every other day. When I turned 8 or 9 it became an hour a day. At 11 it was two hours a day and at 12 i quit lol. I felt two hours a day was too much time away from jumping double dutch with the girls and my family had practically planned my life for me.

I look at it now and that was really nothing. My cousin is a professional musician and he practices about 8 hours a day. Clearly there's no way I could practice even half the amount of time he does. But if I went back I would need to practice at least two hours a day to catch up. That doesn't even include time to learn new concepts. But I'm so addicted when I start playing that I can't pull myself away. When I visit my father I find myself at the piano for hours not realizing how much time has elapsed. I used to always make fun of musicians when they started making faces, doing strange gestures, and rocking as they played their instruments but now I understand what that was. It was the artist connecting with their craft. The sound itself and playing the music are literally a high.

I discovered this high in 2003 while playing at my father's house. By the time I finished playing I had moved/rocked the piano bench away from the piano and was standing and had some ill facial expressions going on. I didn't even realize my sister was taking pics of me playing. It's an amazing feeling. Every stroke of the keys takes you higher and higher. Mixing the chords, changing octaves, and once I add in the foot petals ooooo weee! I'm oblivious to my surroundings. The only things that exists is the sound i'm creating and euphoria. I don't have to go to the bathroom, i'm not thirsty nor hungry. The music is everything in that moment. Dam, I need a fix right now! lol.

I've rambled long enough. Tell me what does music do for you? Or what branch of the arts appeals to you?

Lovers and Friends

I know I haven't been on my blogging game lately; the end of the semester always get a little crazy for me. Finals are underway and i'll be back

Anyway... I've been into the dating game heavily the past few months. Hang out with guy(s) go on a date just having fun. I have recently diagnosed myself with man ADD lol. I'll like a guy and kick it with him for a while but I can loose interest and place them in the friend category with all deliberate speed. Once placed in the friend category there's usually no coming back.

What makes a guy get moved to the friend category? Hmmm any number of things. A boring guy, if you're life totally revolves around your job, you're an absolute homebody, sucky conversation are all no bueno. Number one reason: inconsistency. This seems to be the biggest one for me. If dude texts/calls regularly and we kick it and he disappears or stops/slows txts\calls I loose interest in him as a potential lover with the quickness. Note that I said if he... I follow dudes lead on the communication front. You call me regularly I call u reg. You contact me once in a while I do the same. Latest guy said " you're too chill. why don't you call me more." Ummm i'm going to chalk his comments up as him being juvenile. Am I supposed to be a neurotic stalker and get buck if you say you're gonna kick it with the boys

I have to say that I don't require much attention lol. I've never been the I wanna see you everyday call and text a million times a day kinda girl. That violates one of my biggest dating rules: Never date someone with too much free time (not that i'm a rules girl but experience has taught me that someone w\o hobbies and friends of their own isn't for me). But I do think if you're into someone you'll make time to see that person. I shouldn't have to beg and plead for you to spend time with me. If you want to you will. If you don't well, I know someone else will. Is this mentality unreasonable?

Am I the only person that gets ADD with the opposite sex? Perhaps its not man ADD...
Thoughts, questions, and comments